The Disease of Memory; Cripple

I haven't written in over 6th months - scratch that. I haven't BLOGGED in over 6th months. I haven't really written anything GOOD in the past, well, year...but I did just recently write this and thought I would share. The message is basically that I'm getting old...and I can feel it. And now as I try to get my act together, I simply can't get this harrowing thought from my mind: What exactly happened to my life?

The Disease of Memory

The winds of change are upon me,

thrusting me forward

against a stiff, unforgiving will.

My bones are hollow

with age and useless knowledge;

they crack and whither

as I struggle with a predictable future

that haunts my waking dreams

and abuses my fear of failure.

This calamity of aging has fouled me.

It's unkind without patience

and violates me,

the rape of a fatigued life.

And I am helpless

as I fight for the past,

for an unmolested childhood,

for freedom from vivid, ruthless pain.

My epic journey is halted

as I allow the plague of boredom

to overcome my cantankerous soul

and cloud me with powerless grief

and a plethora of guilt from a life wasted

on the disease of memory.

- November 25, 2011

I also wrote this next one recently and I kinda like it. The repetition is pretty interesting. I kinda like it...and that's pretty rare of me to say!

Cripple

Today I saw a cripple

with a cripple walk,

dragging his crippled feet

and I thought a crippling thought:

I would like to be that cripple,

that cripple right there,

as he receives his cripple checks

from the crippling government.

I suppose I already am that cripple

with my crippled disposition

and the crippling obsession

with my crippled death.

I guess I share his cripple name,

drowning in the glow of crippling glances

from those crippling non-cripples

as they use their cripple polite voices

while passing me in the street,

me and my crippleness.

Some are anti-cripple; they deny

my presence with opposed looks.

No waves. No assistance.

Not even a crippled glance.

They must be the hidden cripples

with their crippling jobs,

over abundance of crippling children,

crippled spouses with crippling lies,

forcing each other into a crippling divorce.

The love, it cripples right before them

until their crippled hearts lose movement,

spirit, and that last bit of crippled hope.

And when the crippling overcomes them

and seeps into the slowly crippling mind,

I'll make sure to deny their crippled eyes

as they search for uncrippled guidance

in this crippled world where they once ignored

the crippling smile of their crippled savior.

- November 8, 2011