Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Woes of Register #2

Ok, I was stuck on one of the worst registers ALL day today and was so bored out of my mind that I had to write a poem about it.
Enjoy. LOL!

The Woes of Register #2


Alone.

Secluded.

Trapped behind last minute purchases,

the blinking light of the scale

is my only companion.

Some visit,

bearing gifts I cannot keep

and giving money I must accept

but cannot take home.

 

“Debit or credit?” screams through my brain

and fumbles out my lips.

My customers are few

even though I make myself

available.

However, I will always remain locked behind,

only seen as they pay and exit.

 

Ashley, my fellow backyard prisoner,

has a sweet face and kind wit about her.

But she is fierce and steals like a professional,

robbing Jacqueline clean…she only notices

she’s been robbed well after the deed is done

and those souls have paid for their desires

and stuffed them loosely in plastic.

 

Jennifer is always ahead.

Her position allows her to stay busy;

constant.

The speed she displays

maintains her annoying beep

that none of us can escape.

 

We are all withdrawn…pushed off to the side

in hopes of cleaning out

those swift shoppers.

But the hefty ones persist,

forcing their well-over-20 items

onto my counter

so the lack of space overwhelms me

and makes me fret.

 

I hate you, full cart shoppers.

How can you ignore my sign

containing the rules of the game

and feverishly prey on my cheery disposition

and my inability to say ‘no’?

My only solace lies

in the time clock that slowly beats down

the minutes until my release.

But when my end has arrived,

I will punch those buttons and disappear

faster than you can ask, “Are you open?”

 

And Ashley will quickly answer,

“No, but I am!”

And then you’re stolen…just like that.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Making Grey


The latest poem that I have written. Definitely not worthy of a pulitzer or anything but I wrote it while bored at work.


Making Grey

 

You pass through the night of the trees,

bathed in the sweat of morning.

The sigh of your face portrays doubt and fear.

 

But the milk of my skin

and the honey of my mane

will be your comfort.

 

I notice your step falls slow,

beaten and weathered by the storm of guilt.

The salt of your tears dries the peel of your cheeks

and ages you quickly, making your soul feel old

without the useful wisdom that accompanies.

 

But my warm, peach hands

and the butter of my embrace

shall steal those imaginary years away

and you will be reborn into free thought.

 

A darkness clouds your heart

and strangles your spirit.

The winds of time passing whittle your hair

and turn your beard course,

like metal shavings from the apron

or a working blacksmith.

 

But my plump pillows will cushion your head

and the wake of my smile

will wash your worries clean.

 

Your pain lingers behind your eyes,

floundered by uncertainty.

And all that you are

and all that you have become is questioned

by your faith in matters unfathomable to you.

 

But your despair will disappear

in the blink of my eyes,

and your love of life shall be renewed

when my sweet voice whispers your name

the way the gulls sing lullabies

to the sea.

 

                                                          June 15, 2009

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Are YOU Ready?!?!

Ok. Is anyone else freaking out like I am? I just got my tickets the other day (thanks, Bubby!) and am a little embarrassed to admit that I think about this movie about every 45 seconds!!!! WHY did they have to postpone it?!?! Don't they know what it's doing to me?!?! STILL?!?! Even though it's only 1 MONTH AWAY?!?!?! AHHHHHH!!!! QUICK!!! SOMEONE SLAP ME, I'M GETTING HYSTERICAL!!!!!



Watch this and then tell me it doesn't look EPIC!!! Exactly.

And in my closing remarks, I'd like to shout out to a few characters who make my life worth living:

To my love, Ronald Weasley: We shall be reunited once more, my dear. Don't worry...it won't be long now. It won't be long...

To my future sister-in-law, Ginny Weasley: You're turning into a stone-cold fox...must be the red hair. P.S. Like your tits in that top.

To that dirty whore, Bellatrix Lastrange: You have got to be one of the greatest villains of all time...thank you for scaring the shit out of me.

To the most evil person, Voldemort (yeah, that's right. I said it!): You're a fool and you will lose...everything. : )

To the coolest old man, Albus Dumbledore: Your prestidigitation (fuck yeah, take that dictionary.com word of the day!) stuns me...I'm amazed at how fucking awesome you really are.

And to the baddest motha fucka, Harry Potter: KICK HIS ASS, C-BASS!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Wal-Mart Bingo - A Game for the Ignorant

I work as a cashier at Wal-Mart (yes, yes…have you gotten the shock and negative thoughts out of your system yet?). I needed a job and they were hiring. End of story.

However, as I’ve been working there for over a month now, I must admit that I like my job. The people are nice. I get treated very well there. I receive the hours that I’m looking for and I easily passed their leadership exam that will hopefully get me a Customer Service Manager position in the near future. The customers are almost always friendly. And while they may not MOSTLY be comprised of business men and women who are wealthy and successful, they are still kind people who are trying to stretch out every penny to help keep themselves and their families healthy and happy…and Wal-Mart greatly helps them with that by offering great products at discounted prices that almost every family can afford. They also accept all types of food stamps, including WIC. In case you haven’t heard, Wal-Mart has a great $4 generic prescription plan going on (I can get my birth control for $9 a month there…the cheapest place I can find). And to all of those folks (I used to be one of you) who think Wal-Mart is a mega-corporation out to destroy the small businesses and tear away more land to build more Supercenters, I wanted to let you know that when I was filling out my New Hire paperwork, there was a huge list of causes to which I could donate part of my check (I chose 2: The American Diabetes Association – in honor of Brandon’s brother, Ryan, who has diabetes - and EarthShare, a program designed to help make our world greener). Also, for every acre that Wal-Mart uses to build one of their stores, they save an acre of wildlife habitat – such as forests, lakes, deserts, mountains, etc. - for the REST OF TIME (or, I guess, until they go out of business which, let’s face it, will probably be considered the end of time anyways!). This fact surprised me at first, however, I began to notice that Wal-Mart is doing so much to help our world stay green! In our break rooms there are tons of bins for every kind of recyclable item imaginable. In every other check-out isle, there are reusable bags (huge ones for only 50 cents a piece) you can purchase that hold 3 (sometimes 4) times the amount a plastic bag carries. In my store, which is a 24 hour Supercenter, they keep the lights dim or off for most of the day while allowing the sun to shine through the hundreds of ceiling windows. They have also converted many of their products to be more energy friendly, such as the ‘green’ light bulbs.

But enough about how Wal-Mart really isn’t the devil. My main reason for this post is Wal-Mart Bingo.

Yesterday, a fairly annoying associate walked into the store and was on her way to clock in when she spotted me (“Damn!” I huffed) and began heading my way. She pulled a pack of papers out of her large purse and handed me one saying, “Have fun with this today!” She giggled and ran off.

At first glance, I noticed it said WAL-MART BINGO at the top and I thought to myself, ‘Oh, this should be a nice way for me to pass the time, actually.’ We used to have games like this at Best Buy (with boxes such as "sell a performance service plan" or "sign up a member for Reward Zone") and the servers all had something similar at TGI Friday’s (like "received 20% tip on one check", "opened front door for guests", and "served 5 people wearing Indiana caps"). I glanced at the first box – '“rat tail” hairstyle' – and thought that was a little funny, but quickly folded up the paper and attended to a few customers. After about 10 minutes of customers, I remembered the Bingo paper and began reading over the other boxes to see if I had found any I might be able to cross off. After reading the first few boxes, I started to find that this wasn’t the type of game I was hoping it was. When I reached the box titled ‘obese person using a scooter’, I was upset.

Now, I’m not quite sure if she found the game online or simply made it up, but either way, this was not what Wal-Mart was about and it certainly wasn’t what I was about. I am not in the habit of searching for these images when I’m at work or anywhere else. This associate was passing out a guideline for discrimination and voicing to other associates that this behavior is tolerated and humorous.

Needless to say, it definitely is not.

This is not what Wal-Mart is about! The wonderful thing about Wal-Mart is that in the time I’ve been working there (and even before I was working there), I have noticed that ALL different types of people come through my lane everyday. Wal-Mart doesn’t discriminate at all. If you are a customer who needs assistance making your way through the store, we have plenty of scooters and wheelchairs available to you. (I should know! One summer in Ocean City, Maryland, right after my back surgery, I had to be wheeled around Wal-Mart by my brother and Paul because my mother had given me all of my pain medicine and THEN told me we were all going to Wal-Mart. Naturally, by the time we got there, I couldn’t see straight and as it was too hot outside for them to leave me in the car (yes, they actually considered this!), they were helping me hobble into the store when a friendly Wal-Mart greeter quickly grabbed me a wheelchair and helped me sit down. I only remember that part because the gentleman was old and looked a lot like Santa Claus, which I may have called him judging by the state I was in!)

Whether some of these “labels” are true or false (complete list located below) is beside the point. This ‘game’ was very inappropriate. The associate in question made an extremely bad judgment call on this one. I was quite appalled to even be working with her. I don’t want to throw this back in her face but I have heard many other associates speak of her in ways that have made me say, “Well, that’s her prerogative and what she wishes to tell about her previous life in porn is her business.” I have already told one associate that I’d rather not listen to him speak about her in such a manner, and he has kindly stopped. But I wonder how she would feel if she heard him conversing about her this way? Just like I wonder how a woman using an oxygen tank would feel about Wal-Mart Bingo (including Wal-Mart and all of its associates) if she saw that associate shading in the box labeled “someone using an oxygen tank”.

I’m not a "tattle-tale", but I couldn’t stand by and watch this crude display of discrimination just boiling at the front lanes. After 3 of my surrounding coworkers voiced their reservations with this ‘game’, I decided it was my duty to do something. So, I took my copy of Wal-Mart Bingo and confidently gave it to a Customer Service Manager. After noticing that her reaction wasn’t nearly as concerned as it should have been, I told another Customer Service Manager whom I trust would be more of the type of leader to actually do something. That, of course, was another point that upset me. If you are in a leadership position and something is bothering your associates, you find out what it is and put a stop to it the best you can - no questions asked…especially when it involves something that could not only come back onto you, but could also hurt the company who put you in that leadership position.

And with that, I give you the full list of boxes located on Wal-Mart Bingo and ask you to voice your opinion on the matter and remember that this is NOT the Wal-Mart that most of us have grown to love! It is strictly ONE associate who, in my opinion, no longer deserves to be working with this company. I believe that Wal-Mart will always treat their employees and customers with the utmost respect…always.

Wal-Mart Bingo

- “rat tail” hairstyle
- child without shoes
- woman with hair curlers
- someone with an eye patch
- obese person using a scooter
- rebel flag t-shirt
- white girl with 3 + multi-racial children (Why is this funny?)
- someone using an oxygen tank (Or this one?)
- kid riding a bike in store
- frozen food item left to thaw in random isle
- dirty diaper left in parking lot
- someone using a voicebox (How about this?)
- FREE – someone oblivious to the fact that they are in your way
- bearded woman
- teardrop tattoo
- child over 5 drinking from a baby bottle
- someone buying beer and diapers
- entire family wearing NASCAR apparel
- man under 30 without any teeth
- someone missing a limb (Why would you laugh at this person?)
- someone giving away kittens
- someone with puke or blood on their clothes (Next time someone comes in asking for help after having just been in some horrible accident, I'll remember to shade in this box before assisting them.)
- unattended crying children
- pregnant woman with visible “tramp stamp” tattoo
- someone with unbearable body odor