The Disease of Memory
The winds of change are upon me,
thrusting me forward
against a stiff, unforgiving will.
My bones are hollow
with age and useless knowledge;
they crack and whither
as I struggle with a predictable future
that haunts my waking dreams
and abuses my fear of failure.
This calamity of aging has fouled me.
It's unkind without patience
and violates me,
the rape of a fatigued life.
And I am helpless
as I fight for the past,
for an unmolested childhood,
for freedom from vivid, ruthless pain.
My epic journey is halted
as I allow the plague of boredom
to overcome my cantankerous soul
and cloud me with powerless grief
and a plethora of guilt from a life wasted
on the disease of memory.
- November 25, 2011
I also wrote this next one recently and I kinda like it. The repetition is pretty interesting. I kinda like it...and that's pretty rare of me to say!
Cripple
Today I saw a cripple
with a cripple walk,
dragging his crippled feet
and I thought a crippling thought:
I would like to be that cripple,
that cripple right there,
as he receives his cripple checks
from the crippling government.
I suppose I already am that cripple
with my crippled disposition
and the crippling obsession
with my crippled death.
I guess I share his cripple name,
drowning in the glow of crippling glances
from those crippling non-cripples
as they use their cripple polite voices
while passing me in the street,
me and my crippleness.
Some are anti-cripple; they deny
my presence with opposed looks.
No waves. No assistance.
Not even a crippled glance.
They must be the hidden cripples
with their crippling jobs,
over abundance of crippling children,
crippled spouses with crippling lies,
forcing each other into a crippling divorce.
The love, it cripples right before them
until their crippled hearts lose movement,
spirit, and that last bit of crippled hope.
And when the crippling overcomes them
and seeps into the slowly crippling mind,
I'll make sure to deny their crippled eyes
as they search for uncrippled guidance
in this crippled world where they once ignored
the crippling smile of their crippled savior.
- November 8, 2011
