I haven't written in awhile. I know...it's horrible. However, in my defense, it has taken us a long time to move into our new place, I recently pinched a nerve and messed up the rotator cuff of my right shoulder, and the love of my life went on a cruise to the Bahamas with his father and brother and I was left home alone to eat myself into a coma everyday he was gone. Add the disappointment of the newest Harry Potter movie and you've got yourself a recipe for a depressing month in which writing was the last thing on my mind. (And Ellie just let loose one of her tear jerking farts...great.)
Naturally, those aren't the worst things to happen. I recently found out (ok, I was 'reminded', I've been trying to forget) that I still owe a lot of money to a company that shall remain nameless. And if you know me at all, you would know that: #1: I'm so incredibly poor, I'm sure I'll have to eat at the nearest soup kitchen soon, and #2: I am incapable of asking anyone for help. (Considering the fact that I just sucked up my pride and asked my grandmother for money to help us move, I can't turn right around and ask her again.) Money problems have been chasing me around all my life. I don't know why I can't get ahead of any of them. I was never taught the ridiculous importance and value of money like my brother. (My poor excuse for a father didn't set up a joint checking account for me (and him) until I had secured a job while my brother received a savings account before he was 10 and was encouraged to put all of his birthday/Christmas money in it. He was also given an allowance. Enough said.) So, now I must face the consequences of my actions...even if they cause me to get sent to jail for failure to pay off a horrible debt. Now, I can never marry the love of my life. (Who in their right mind would want to marry a poor woman and take on all of her debt, too?) And I fear for my poor baby cat, Contessa, who will probably be eaten by her older brother, Zeus, when their food supply dries up. Unfortunately, we live in a world where the only real thing that matters is money. It won't matter that I was drum major of the marching band in high school if I can't pay my bills. It won't matter that I'm fluent in Spanish and know Portuguese and Italian as well if I can't come up with the money to pay rent. And it certainly won't matter that I once wrote a 3 page essay in Spanish about how my family worships Bart Simpson when I try to find a job that pays enough for me to survive and stay out of jail.
However, this is not the reason for my post. I actually wanted to write about how money ISN'T the most important thing in MY world. Although it causes me ALL of my strife and worry, there are some things that certainly make me feel better.
One example of this is my sweet pets. While crying my eyes out just a little bit ago, both Zeus and Ellie, our pup, came over to console me. Ellie placed her head in my lap and looked up at me with her sad, brown eyes. Zeus sat down next to me and rubbed his head up against my shoulder and started purring like a motor. And then, Tessa put aside her hatred for Ellie and quietly snuck up behind me and rubbed herself up against my back. As I was adjusting to the shock of being in what felt like the scene from some Disney movie about animals, I instantly calmed down and felt somewhat better.
After drying up my sad eyes, I went to my computer to check bank accounts to see HOW POOR I actually am when I became distracted by my friend's blog. I don't know how she does it, but after reading Alison's blog, I feel so much better. Could it be that the topics of her blog entries induce hysterical laughter? Could it be that her writing style portrays a sense of reality that one can actually relate to? Or could it be that she writes what she wants, when she wants, about what she wants and inspires others to do the same? I believe all of these factors play a part in making her readers feel better about life. No matter how depressed I am about money, I can always go to alisoncomposes.blogspot.com and come across a funny story about her experiences waiting tables and dealing with ridiculous customers (which was actually how we met). And no matter how tired I am of life, I can click on that bookmark and come across a picture of Alison looking hilariously terrified in her bike helmet while she tells us about riding her beloved bike in Chicago. Alison makes me feel better...even if she lives miles and miles away. And I believe that feeling is much more valuable to me than the money I need to pay off my debts.
Anything that can create that feeling in me, whether it be my beautiful pets, the wonderful compositions of my best friend, or watching The Simpsons (I just popped it in) while curled up in bed is so much more important than money.
Did I mention my lovely boyfriend just sent me the sweetest text message letting me know he loves me? Priceless...
