Ok. Is anyone else freaking out like I am? I just got my tickets the other day (thanks, Bubby!) and am a little embarrassed to admit that I think about this movie about every 45 seconds!!!! WHY did they have to postpone it?!?! Don't they know what it's doing to me?!?! STILL?!?! Even though it's only 1 MONTH AWAY?!?!?! AHHHHHH!!!! QUICK!!! SOMEONE SLAP ME, I'M GETTING HYSTERICAL!!!!!
Watch this and then tell me it doesn't look EPIC!!! Exactly.
And in my closing remarks, I'd like to shout out to a few characters who make my life worth living:
To my love, Ronald Weasley: We shall be reunited once more, my dear. Don't worry...it won't be long now. It won't be long...
To my future sister-in-law, Ginny Weasley: You're turning into a stone-cold fox...must be the red hair. P.S. Like your tits in that top.
To that dirty whore, Bellatrix Lastrange: You have got to be one of the greatest villains of all time...thank you for scaring the shit out of me.
To the most evil person, Voldemort (yeah, that's right. I said it!): You're a fool and you will lose...everything. : )
To the coolest old man, Albus Dumbledore: Your prestidigitation (fuck yeah, take that dictionary.com word of the day!) stuns me...I'm amazed at how fucking awesome you really are.
And to the baddest motha fucka, Harry Potter: KICK HIS ASS, C-BASS!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wal-Mart Bingo - A Game for the Ignorant
I work as a cashier at Wal-Mart (yes, yes…have you gotten the shock and negative thoughts out of your system yet?). I needed a job and they were hiring. End of story.
However, as I’ve been working there for over a month now, I must admit that I like my job. The people are nice. I get treated very well there. I receive the hours that I’m looking for and I easily passed their leadership exam that will hopefully get me a Customer Service Manager position in the near future. The customers are almost always friendly. And while they may not MOSTLY be comprised of business men and women who are wealthy and successful, they are still kind people who are trying to stretch out every penny to help keep themselves and their families healthy and happy…and Wal-Mart greatly helps them with that by offering great products at discounted prices that almost every family can afford. They also accept all types of food stamps, including WIC. In case you haven’t heard, Wal-Mart has a great $4 generic prescription plan going on (I can get my birth control for $9 a month there…the cheapest place I can find). And to all of those folks (I used to be one of you) who think Wal-Mart is a mega-corporation out to destroy the small businesses and tear away more land to build more Supercenters, I wanted to let you know that when I was filling out my New Hire paperwork, there was a huge list of causes to which I could donate part of my check (I chose 2: The American Diabetes Association – in honor of Brandon’s brother, Ryan, who has diabetes - and EarthShare, a program designed to help make our world greener). Also, for every acre that Wal-Mart uses to build one of their stores, they save an acre of wildlife habitat – such as forests, lakes, deserts, mountains, etc. - for the REST OF TIME (or, I guess, until they go out of business which, let’s face it, will probably be considered the end of time anyways!). This fact surprised me at first, however, I began to notice that Wal-Mart is doing so much to help our world stay green! In our break rooms there are tons of bins for every kind of recyclable item imaginable. In every other check-out isle, there are reusable bags (huge ones for only 50 cents a piece) you can purchase that hold 3 (sometimes 4) times the amount a plastic bag carries. In my store, which is a 24 hour Supercenter, they keep the lights dim or off for most of the day while allowing the sun to shine through the hundreds of ceiling windows. They have also converted many of their products to be more energy friendly, such as the ‘green’ light bulbs.
But enough about how Wal-Mart really isn’t the devil. My main reason for this post is Wal-Mart Bingo.
Yesterday, a fairly annoying associate walked into the store and was on her way to clock in when she spotted me (“Damn!” I huffed) and began heading my way. She pulled a pack of papers out of her large purse and handed me one saying, “Have fun with this today!” She giggled and ran off.
At first glance, I noticed it said WAL-MART BINGO at the top and I thought to myself, ‘Oh, this should be a nice way for me to pass the time, actually.’ We used to have games like this at Best Buy (with boxes such as "sell a performance service plan" or "sign up a member for Reward Zone") and the servers all had something similar at TGI Friday’s (like "received 20% tip on one check", "opened front door for guests", and "served 5 people wearing Indiana caps"). I glanced at the first box – '“rat tail” hairstyle' – and thought that was a little funny, but quickly folded up the paper and attended to a few customers. After about 10 minutes of customers, I remembered the Bingo paper and began reading over the other boxes to see if I had found any I might be able to cross off. After reading the first few boxes, I started to find that this wasn’t the type of game I was hoping it was. When I reached the box titled ‘obese person using a scooter’, I was upset.
Now, I’m not quite sure if she found the game online or simply made it up, but either way, this was not what Wal-Mart was about and it certainly wasn’t what I was about. I am not in the habit of searching for these images when I’m at work or anywhere else. This associate was passing out a guideline for discrimination and voicing to other associates that this behavior is tolerated and humorous.
Needless to say, it definitely is not.
This is not what Wal-Mart is about! The wonderful thing about Wal-Mart is that in the time I’ve been working there (and even before I was working there), I have noticed that ALL different types of people come through my lane everyday. Wal-Mart doesn’t discriminate at all. If you are a customer who needs assistance making your way through the store, we have plenty of scooters and wheelchairs available to you. (I should know! One summer in Ocean City, Maryland, right after my back surgery, I had to be wheeled around Wal-Mart by my brother and Paul because my mother had given me all of my pain medicine and THEN told me we were all going to Wal-Mart. Naturally, by the time we got there, I couldn’t see straight and as it was too hot outside for them to leave me in the car (yes, they actually considered this!), they were helping me hobble into the store when a friendly Wal-Mart greeter quickly grabbed me a wheelchair and helped me sit down. I only remember that part because the gentleman was old and looked a lot like Santa Claus, which I may have called him judging by the state I was in!)
Whether some of these “labels” are true or false (complete list located below) is beside the point. This ‘game’ was very inappropriate. The associate in question made an extremely bad judgment call on this one. I was quite appalled to even be working with her. I don’t want to throw this back in her face but I have heard many other associates speak of her in ways that have made me say, “Well, that’s her prerogative and what she wishes to tell about her previous life in porn is her business.” I have already told one associate that I’d rather not listen to him speak about her in such a manner, and he has kindly stopped. But I wonder how she would feel if she heard him conversing about her this way? Just like I wonder how a woman using an oxygen tank would feel about Wal-Mart Bingo (including Wal-Mart and all of its associates) if she saw that associate shading in the box labeled “someone using an oxygen tank”.
I’m not a "tattle-tale", but I couldn’t stand by and watch this crude display of discrimination just boiling at the front lanes. After 3 of my surrounding coworkers voiced their reservations with this ‘game’, I decided it was my duty to do something. So, I took my copy of Wal-Mart Bingo and confidently gave it to a Customer Service Manager. After noticing that her reaction wasn’t nearly as concerned as it should have been, I told another Customer Service Manager whom I trust would be more of the type of leader to actually do something. That, of course, was another point that upset me. If you are in a leadership position and something is bothering your associates, you find out what it is and put a stop to it the best you can - no questions asked…especially when it involves something that could not only come back onto you, but could also hurt the company who put you in that leadership position.
And with that, I give you the full list of boxes located on Wal-Mart Bingo and ask you to voice your opinion on the matter and remember that this is NOT the Wal-Mart that most of us have grown to love! It is strictly ONE associate who, in my opinion, no longer deserves to be working with this company. I believe that Wal-Mart will always treat their employees and customers with the utmost respect…always.
Wal-Mart Bingo
- “rat tail” hairstyle
- child without shoes
- woman with hair curlers
- someone with an eye patch
- obese person using a scooter
- rebel flag t-shirt
- white girl with 3 + multi-racial children (Why is this funny?)
- someone using an oxygen tank (Or this one?)
- kid riding a bike in store
- frozen food item left to thaw in random isle
- dirty diaper left in parking lot
- someone using a voicebox (How about this?)
- FREE – someone oblivious to the fact that they are in your way
- bearded woman
- teardrop tattoo
- child over 5 drinking from a baby bottle
- someone buying beer and diapers
- entire family wearing NASCAR apparel
- man under 30 without any teeth
- someone missing a limb (Why would you laugh at this person?)
- someone giving away kittens
- someone with puke or blood on their clothes (Next time someone comes in asking for help after having just been in some horrible accident, I'll remember to shade in this box before assisting them.)
- unattended crying children
- pregnant woman with visible “tramp stamp” tattoo
- someone with unbearable body odor
However, as I’ve been working there for over a month now, I must admit that I like my job. The people are nice. I get treated very well there. I receive the hours that I’m looking for and I easily passed their leadership exam that will hopefully get me a Customer Service Manager position in the near future. The customers are almost always friendly. And while they may not MOSTLY be comprised of business men and women who are wealthy and successful, they are still kind people who are trying to stretch out every penny to help keep themselves and their families healthy and happy…and Wal-Mart greatly helps them with that by offering great products at discounted prices that almost every family can afford. They also accept all types of food stamps, including WIC. In case you haven’t heard, Wal-Mart has a great $4 generic prescription plan going on (I can get my birth control for $9 a month there…the cheapest place I can find). And to all of those folks (I used to be one of you) who think Wal-Mart is a mega-corporation out to destroy the small businesses and tear away more land to build more Supercenters, I wanted to let you know that when I was filling out my New Hire paperwork, there was a huge list of causes to which I could donate part of my check (I chose 2: The American Diabetes Association – in honor of Brandon’s brother, Ryan, who has diabetes - and EarthShare, a program designed to help make our world greener). Also, for every acre that Wal-Mart uses to build one of their stores, they save an acre of wildlife habitat – such as forests, lakes, deserts, mountains, etc. - for the REST OF TIME (or, I guess, until they go out of business which, let’s face it, will probably be considered the end of time anyways!). This fact surprised me at first, however, I began to notice that Wal-Mart is doing so much to help our world stay green! In our break rooms there are tons of bins for every kind of recyclable item imaginable. In every other check-out isle, there are reusable bags (huge ones for only 50 cents a piece) you can purchase that hold 3 (sometimes 4) times the amount a plastic bag carries. In my store, which is a 24 hour Supercenter, they keep the lights dim or off for most of the day while allowing the sun to shine through the hundreds of ceiling windows. They have also converted many of their products to be more energy friendly, such as the ‘green’ light bulbs.
But enough about how Wal-Mart really isn’t the devil. My main reason for this post is Wal-Mart Bingo.
Yesterday, a fairly annoying associate walked into the store and was on her way to clock in when she spotted me (“Damn!” I huffed) and began heading my way. She pulled a pack of papers out of her large purse and handed me one saying, “Have fun with this today!” She giggled and ran off.
At first glance, I noticed it said WAL-MART BINGO at the top and I thought to myself, ‘Oh, this should be a nice way for me to pass the time, actually.’ We used to have games like this at Best Buy (with boxes such as "sell a performance service plan" or "sign up a member for Reward Zone") and the servers all had something similar at TGI Friday’s (like "received 20% tip on one check", "opened front door for guests", and "served 5 people wearing Indiana caps"). I glanced at the first box – '“rat tail” hairstyle' – and thought that was a little funny, but quickly folded up the paper and attended to a few customers. After about 10 minutes of customers, I remembered the Bingo paper and began reading over the other boxes to see if I had found any I might be able to cross off. After reading the first few boxes, I started to find that this wasn’t the type of game I was hoping it was. When I reached the box titled ‘obese person using a scooter’, I was upset.
Now, I’m not quite sure if she found the game online or simply made it up, but either way, this was not what Wal-Mart was about and it certainly wasn’t what I was about. I am not in the habit of searching for these images when I’m at work or anywhere else. This associate was passing out a guideline for discrimination and voicing to other associates that this behavior is tolerated and humorous.
Needless to say, it definitely is not.
This is not what Wal-Mart is about! The wonderful thing about Wal-Mart is that in the time I’ve been working there (and even before I was working there), I have noticed that ALL different types of people come through my lane everyday. Wal-Mart doesn’t discriminate at all. If you are a customer who needs assistance making your way through the store, we have plenty of scooters and wheelchairs available to you. (I should know! One summer in Ocean City, Maryland, right after my back surgery, I had to be wheeled around Wal-Mart by my brother and Paul because my mother had given me all of my pain medicine and THEN told me we were all going to Wal-Mart. Naturally, by the time we got there, I couldn’t see straight and as it was too hot outside for them to leave me in the car (yes, they actually considered this!), they were helping me hobble into the store when a friendly Wal-Mart greeter quickly grabbed me a wheelchair and helped me sit down. I only remember that part because the gentleman was old and looked a lot like Santa Claus, which I may have called him judging by the state I was in!)
Whether some of these “labels” are true or false (complete list located below) is beside the point. This ‘game’ was very inappropriate. The associate in question made an extremely bad judgment call on this one. I was quite appalled to even be working with her. I don’t want to throw this back in her face but I have heard many other associates speak of her in ways that have made me say, “Well, that’s her prerogative and what she wishes to tell about her previous life in porn is her business.” I have already told one associate that I’d rather not listen to him speak about her in such a manner, and he has kindly stopped. But I wonder how she would feel if she heard him conversing about her this way? Just like I wonder how a woman using an oxygen tank would feel about Wal-Mart Bingo (including Wal-Mart and all of its associates) if she saw that associate shading in the box labeled “someone using an oxygen tank”.
I’m not a "tattle-tale", but I couldn’t stand by and watch this crude display of discrimination just boiling at the front lanes. After 3 of my surrounding coworkers voiced their reservations with this ‘game’, I decided it was my duty to do something. So, I took my copy of Wal-Mart Bingo and confidently gave it to a Customer Service Manager. After noticing that her reaction wasn’t nearly as concerned as it should have been, I told another Customer Service Manager whom I trust would be more of the type of leader to actually do something. That, of course, was another point that upset me. If you are in a leadership position and something is bothering your associates, you find out what it is and put a stop to it the best you can - no questions asked…especially when it involves something that could not only come back onto you, but could also hurt the company who put you in that leadership position.
And with that, I give you the full list of boxes located on Wal-Mart Bingo and ask you to voice your opinion on the matter and remember that this is NOT the Wal-Mart that most of us have grown to love! It is strictly ONE associate who, in my opinion, no longer deserves to be working with this company. I believe that Wal-Mart will always treat their employees and customers with the utmost respect…always.
Wal-Mart Bingo
- “rat tail” hairstyle
- child without shoes
- woman with hair curlers
- someone with an eye patch
- obese person using a scooter
- rebel flag t-shirt
- white girl with 3 + multi-racial children (Why is this funny?)
- someone using an oxygen tank (Or this one?)
- kid riding a bike in store
- frozen food item left to thaw in random isle
- dirty diaper left in parking lot
- someone using a voicebox (How about this?)
- FREE – someone oblivious to the fact that they are in your way
- bearded woman
- teardrop tattoo
- child over 5 drinking from a baby bottle
- someone buying beer and diapers
- entire family wearing NASCAR apparel
- man under 30 without any teeth
- someone missing a limb (Why would you laugh at this person?)
- someone giving away kittens
- someone with puke or blood on their clothes (Next time someone comes in asking for help after having just been in some horrible accident, I'll remember to shade in this box before assisting them.)
- unattended crying children
- pregnant woman with visible “tramp stamp” tattoo
- someone with unbearable body odor
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Pictures of Pets
I took some pictures earlier today of some of my pets. Just wanted to share a few cute ones with everybody!
Enjoy!
Zeus, reading my poetry. Ellie in the background, just chillin'. : )
Ellie and the grape... : )
Zeus in stealth mode!
'What choo want wit my grape?!'
Oh Zeus, my love...you're so handsome. : )
Tee hee! Silly Ellie!!
Enjoy!
Zeus, reading my poetry. Ellie in the background, just chillin'. : )
Ellie and the grape... : )
Zeus in stealth mode!
'What choo want wit my grape?!'
Oh Zeus, my love...you're so handsome. : )
Tee hee! Silly Ellie!!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Ways To Love Your Body...(just like your boyfriend does!)
So, after writing a previous post of mine, I must admit...I'm still bothered by the fact that I have gained weight and that it bothers some people close to me. However, I have come to realize that it's really just their negative self-image being projected onto me.
Now, I am in no way very confidant of a person when it comes to physical attributes. But I am so disappointed in our society. It creates these near impossible standards for our girls/woman to live up to. I am NEVER going to look like Megan Fox or Jennifer Aniston...and to be honest, I don't want to. I am still traumatized by the first photo I ever saw of Megan Fox...she resembled an ugly transvestite. And as for Aniston...well, her face looks like a bony bronzed foot. I mean, if you would like to fashion your looks into an ugly transvestite or a bony bronzed foot, then please, look up to these "fine" actresses. However, I'd like to invite you to take a look at Kate Winslet in all of her curvacious beauty. She defies the norm and STILL doesn't hesitate when taking her clothes off (in almost every movie)! Or how about one of my favorites, Queen Latifah? This "Mamma" struts to the beat of her own drum and as a spokeswoman for Covergirl (their best move yet, I might add), brings in a certain light of REALITY back into our adds and commercials. She loves her body and shows it...which is why most of us have learned to love her body, too.
So now, I ask Hollywood to please, stop publicizing tiny waistlines and unhealthy eating habits just because it has become the norm for our society. If there is anything that can change this outlook, it's Hollywood and ALL that comes with it. We must embrace our bodies as they are now. And if you aren't happy with it, feel free to change it but how YOU want to...not how Jennifer Aniston and Megan Fox do.
On that note, I had to meet with a doctor last week (just a routine check-up) and she had a little red flyer up in her office that immediately caught my attention. She let me keep it (it was her last one and she kindly pealed it off of her wall for me to cherish!) and I am now trying to read it everyday so that I can truly embrace my body in all of it's glory! I have rewritten a copy below for anyone who wishes to defy the norm with me and LOVE YOUR BODY...just as it is. : )
WAYS TO LOVE YOUR BODY
* Become aware of what your body does each day, as the instrument of your life, not just an ornament for others.
* Think of your body as a tool. Create a list of all the things you can do with this body. (My boyfriend and I enjoyed discussing this one...: ) )
* Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.
*Do something that will let you enjoy your body. Stretch, dance, walk, sing, take a bubble bath, get a massage. (I'd like to add 'safe sex' and 'masturbation' to this point as they are GREAT ways to 'enjoy your body'.) : )
* Wear comfortable styles that you really like and feel good. (I will no longer be ashamed of my jeans and t-shirt look!)
* Decide what you would rather do with the hours you waste everyday criticizing your body. (Every time I say something negative about my body, Brandon recites this point to me. Every...time...)
* Describe 10 positive things about yourself without mentioning your appearance. (This one is tough, but I hope to get there soon.)
* Say to yourself, "Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way."
* Don't let your weight or shape keep you from doing things you enjoy. (I can't wait to be at the beach!!! Even though everyone will be running away in fear as Abby the Whale hurdles onto the beach...and in comes Brandon, "Isn't there something you would rather do with the time you waste criticizing your body, Abby")
* Create a list of people who have contributed to your life, your community, the world. Was their appearance important to their success and accomplishments? If not, why should yours be?
* If you had only one year to live, how important would your body image and appearance be?
I hope this list inspires others to join me in loving our bodies!! Good luck!!!
Now, I am in no way very confidant of a person when it comes to physical attributes. But I am so disappointed in our society. It creates these near impossible standards for our girls/woman to live up to. I am NEVER going to look like Megan Fox or Jennifer Aniston...and to be honest, I don't want to. I am still traumatized by the first photo I ever saw of Megan Fox...she resembled an ugly transvestite. And as for Aniston...well, her face looks like a bony bronzed foot. I mean, if you would like to fashion your looks into an ugly transvestite or a bony bronzed foot, then please, look up to these "fine" actresses. However, I'd like to invite you to take a look at Kate Winslet in all of her curvacious beauty. She defies the norm and STILL doesn't hesitate when taking her clothes off (in almost every movie)! Or how about one of my favorites, Queen Latifah? This "Mamma" struts to the beat of her own drum and as a spokeswoman for Covergirl (their best move yet, I might add), brings in a certain light of REALITY back into our adds and commercials. She loves her body and shows it...which is why most of us have learned to love her body, too.
So now, I ask Hollywood to please, stop publicizing tiny waistlines and unhealthy eating habits just because it has become the norm for our society. If there is anything that can change this outlook, it's Hollywood and ALL that comes with it. We must embrace our bodies as they are now. And if you aren't happy with it, feel free to change it but how YOU want to...not how Jennifer Aniston and Megan Fox do.
On that note, I had to meet with a doctor last week (just a routine check-up) and she had a little red flyer up in her office that immediately caught my attention. She let me keep it (it was her last one and she kindly pealed it off of her wall for me to cherish!) and I am now trying to read it everyday so that I can truly embrace my body in all of it's glory! I have rewritten a copy below for anyone who wishes to defy the norm with me and LOVE YOUR BODY...just as it is. : )
WAYS TO LOVE YOUR BODY
* Become aware of what your body does each day, as the instrument of your life, not just an ornament for others.
* Think of your body as a tool. Create a list of all the things you can do with this body. (My boyfriend and I enjoyed discussing this one...: ) )
* Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.
*Do something that will let you enjoy your body. Stretch, dance, walk, sing, take a bubble bath, get a massage. (I'd like to add 'safe sex' and 'masturbation' to this point as they are GREAT ways to 'enjoy your body'.) : )
* Wear comfortable styles that you really like and feel good. (I will no longer be ashamed of my jeans and t-shirt look!)
* Decide what you would rather do with the hours you waste everyday criticizing your body. (Every time I say something negative about my body, Brandon recites this point to me. Every...time...)
* Describe 10 positive things about yourself without mentioning your appearance. (This one is tough, but I hope to get there soon.)
* Say to yourself, "Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way."
* Don't let your weight or shape keep you from doing things you enjoy. (I can't wait to be at the beach!!! Even though everyone will be running away in fear as Abby the Whale hurdles onto the beach...and in comes Brandon, "Isn't there something you would rather do with the time you waste criticizing your body, Abby")
* Create a list of people who have contributed to your life, your community, the world. Was their appearance important to their success and accomplishments? If not, why should yours be?
* If you had only one year to live, how important would your body image and appearance be?
I hope this list inspires others to join me in loving our bodies!! Good luck!!!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
At least I'm not the only one obsessed with Mario Kart!!
GASP!
I was zapped full of gooey goodness when my brother referred me to a video posted on his wall by a friend of his. Ironically, the girl who posted the video did so because it reminded her of me and not him...and I'm honestly touched that she would remember anything about me considering the fact I felt as though she wasn't very friendly to me and flat out didn't care for me at all! Although, if you know me at all and only a little, the one thing you probably do know about me is that I LOVE MARIO KART!!
Ever since I was a little girl with huge pink rimmed glasses, I have been entranced by Mario Kart. I played it when it first came out on Super Nintendo...the very first Mario Kart EVER! Never did I have more fun...until it came out for Nintendo 64! We never owned either of these games when I was a child, having to rent them all the time. But now we own them both and I still, to this day, enjoy pulling out the old consoles and playing them on rainy days. However, last summer...I was introduced to Mario Kart Wii........
...and I have NEVER felt the same about any other video game!!!
It challenges me by allowing me to play against other fellow obsessors. It entrances me with pretty lights and sounds! Ha ha! It stimulates my mind by forcing me to multi-task while I kick ass on my way to the top (hey, it ain't easy turbo sliding while holding a green shell behind you and aiming at Bowser in front of you, waiting for the perfect time to release hell! Ok, ok...it's easy for me. Ha! But only after MUCH practice!). And it sincerely makes me smile. There is nothing like unlocking EVERYTHING there is to unlock in a game and beating a bunch of online members with scores in the 9000's (I am not quite there yet but I'm so close, with a solid 8800).
So, thank you, Mario Kart Love Song singer! Thank you for professing my extreme adoration of a timeless game into an awesomely hilarious song! While playing it for Brandon, he laughed and said, "This is how I feel when we play online!" He said that because when we play online on my license, he takes those blue shells for me and knocks out those Bowsers and DKs so that my score can soar!! Every winner needs a comrade...or I guess I should say every Daisy needs her Luigi. : )
Enjoy!!!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Extremely LATE "Weirdness" Between a Mother and Daughter
This past weekend, I happily traveled to Evansville in preparation of Christina's (my brother's girlfriend) graduation. To be honest, I had no burning desire to see my mother or brother. And I was right to be void of that desire.
Let's first begin with my brother. He has EVERYTHING a soon-to-be 19 year old boy could want: he's going to college for FREE; he doesn't have to pay rent at either of the TWO homes he lives; he gets FREE money from the government every month; he has a beautiful girlfriend who is totally in love with him and parents who bend to his every whim. So, why must he be cruel? We were at Wal-mart in search for a last minute sweater for me to wear at the graduation last night as it was going to be cold. Bryce so "lovingly" dropped hints and blatantly complained about my weight. Yes, I know I have gained weight. Yes, I want to lose it. But honestly, I personally thought that family was supposed to love you unconditionally, no matter what. Never in the whole of Bryce's childhood did I EVER hint to his weight, which was much more than the weight of society's "normal" child. I am almost ashamed to call him my brother, as he has completely changed and has become very arrogant in his ways. He doesn't realize how much he upsets me, even if it's "only a joke, Abby."
Continuing onto my mother, she is indescribable. Literally. (I just sat here for five minutes staring at the blinking cursor, begging it to give me a word worthy of describing her.) To keep things short, I shall explain that we simply ended up talking about how "weird" Bryce's relationships are and she turns to me with a shocked expression and says, "Well, don't you think your relationships are weird, Abby?" "What exactly do you mean?" I responded. "You dated a WOMAN!" she heaved. "You don't think that is weird?"
Slap! My neck still hurts from that whip across the face.
I was flabbergasted to say the least. All this time, I was under the impression that my mother supported my relationship with a woman and that she was fully comfortable with it. Now, 2 years after I have ended that relationship and am happily dating a man, she lets me know that she doesn't actually approve. I explain to her that I fall in love with a person's personality, intelligence, and humor before I fall in love with their sex. And then I begin to feel bad for her as she tells me that's weird and not right...that she doesn't understand that, because she thought sex really matters because it's the first thing you 'SEE'. I'm sad for her...she loves only with her eyes; never her heart.
Needless to say, I'm hurt and completely taken aback. Never again will I expect anything from my 'family'...least of all love. Apparently, it's certainly too much to ask for...even when you never really ask of it and instead just assume it was always there to begin with.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
It's Been Awhile...
"Oh my..."
Most of my thoughts begin this way and nothing was different when I logged into my ancient Blogger account today after being inspired by my good pal, Al. Technically, I actually said, "Oh my...what IS this shit?!"
But seriously...I have been looking for an outlet. I'm finding that I've been writing less and less lately. I lack the motivation (which is normally the case with anything in my life at the moment), yet I intend to find some.
So, this is my first step. Going to www.blogspot.com. Entering in my email address and password. Clicking "View Blog" and deeply sighing with, "Oh my...what IS this shit?!...Oh yeah. That's right. It's me."
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