Feeling a little better and fucking EXCITED about July

http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/videogallery/video/show/669
After viewing that video, I now have a freakin' reason to live until July!!! hahahaa...ok, that's a little extreme, but still!!
I've begun to feel a little better than last week. At least the fever and stomach sickness is gone. I'm still pretty weak with a headache and a bad cold, but I'm sure that'll pass. I also am a little disappointed in myself. I really shouldn't have gotten so excited about this weekend and put too much faith into people. I've totally quit all of my crushes because it just won't work. I need to find someone who's more of a loser like me...only then will a relationship really work! And as far as 'friends' go, I really don't have any. I mean, aside from Lois, I don't know anyone that would like to hangout with me or that, now, I would like to hangout with. I knew...I KNEW that people were going to disappoint me, and still, I fell for them. Damnit...I'm pathetic. But I won't let these 'people' disappoint me anymore. No more faith in anyone...it just won't help.
I know it might sound corny, but I'm SO ready to have a real job...mainly with the CIA. I REALLY want to join. I think working for their foreign intelligence program would really be exciting and a good job for me. And if I have to leave the country and my sad pathetic little life behind then fine...I don't mind completely changing my identity and gaining a totally different life. I don't think I have anything holding me back at all. Now, if only I had something or someone (other than Bryce) that I cared deeply enough for that would prevent me from leaving this life behind, maybe things would be different. But as of now...I think not.
And I know that no one reads these things...so I don't really know why I write them. Maybe for my own benefit? No se'. Oh well...at least I have something to look back on and laugh hysterically at!