Just To Get More Of You
Broken down on the side of the road
on the hottest day of all time,
I continued walking, with your smile dancing in my eyes.
I kicked a can with your ears
and stepped over a hole with your lips.
Your hair played against my face
from the willow that I mazed through.
It began to drizzle,
and I felt your tender touch suffocate me
in the weak sunlight.
Your scorching kisses poured over my soles
as I scuttled over the pavement.
My chest heaved with your love,
your poison,
and I kept sucking it up; faster, quicker,
like a vacuum.
The weakness set in, and I began to feel pain.
My feet began to blister.
The air in my chest could not suffice my need for oxygen,
and the scratches on my face left blood on the willow.
It only lasted moments,
and then I was in the clear. With an open road in front
and the chaos past, I had only one path.
I turned...
and strolled, like a king,
through the pain and suffering afresh
just to get more of you.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Appreciating Gravity
Watching the memory of you swimming in my glass
soothes my loneliness, if only for slight moments.
When you leave me,
I drown in my thoughts of forever and never.
Dreaming of an easy out, I try (so hard)
to stay away from sharp objects, necklaces, and homemade remedies.
On stronger days, you can find me wishing on thunderstorms
and the sound that streams from my rusted air conditioner.
When the blade becomes dull from my skin,
I’m found, glazed, on the bathroom floor,
pining for the courage to push a little harder.
Because of a small hope
that hides in the far caves of my possible genius,
the butter of my arm becomes a piece of lumber,
splintered and stronger than normal.
I catch an artificial breeze from the fan
and pucker up for the pictures that no one views,
with the lips that no one kisses,
in front of the mirror where No One looks back.
It’s about that time...where dreams finally come true.
Where I see a light
instead of the constant dark that plagues my brow.
Where you notice that I really am genius.
Where mathematics, physics, and pure art finally come together,
ending the beginning while starting the finish.
I take no time in tightening my necklace and staring at my feet.
Using gravity, I fall to get high.
And I’m gone.
And you noticed.
And it was late, yes, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t count.
Watching the memory of you swimming in my glass
soothes my loneliness, if only for slight moments.
When you leave me,
I drown in my thoughts of forever and never.
Dreaming of an easy out, I try (so hard)
to stay away from sharp objects, necklaces, and homemade remedies.
On stronger days, you can find me wishing on thunderstorms
and the sound that streams from my rusted air conditioner.
When the blade becomes dull from my skin,
I’m found, glazed, on the bathroom floor,
pining for the courage to push a little harder.
Because of a small hope
that hides in the far caves of my possible genius,
the butter of my arm becomes a piece of lumber,
splintered and stronger than normal.
I catch an artificial breeze from the fan
and pucker up for the pictures that no one views,
with the lips that no one kisses,
in front of the mirror where No One looks back.
It’s about that time...where dreams finally come true.
Where I see a light
instead of the constant dark that plagues my brow.
Where you notice that I really am genius.
Where mathematics, physics, and pure art finally come together,
ending the beginning while starting the finish.
I take no time in tightening my necklace and staring at my feet.
Using gravity, I fall to get high.
And I’m gone.
And you noticed.
And it was late, yes, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t count.
Monday, May 21, 2007
The Symbol Of Truth
So, apparently there's this new symbol on the cover of the children's version of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. This symbol has intrigued most people and although, when searched, it seems as though it is the symbol for TRUTH, and many wonder how it plays into the Harry Potter saga and what exactly it's purpose is. (I'm going to try to post the pic in here (^ there it is! ^) so you can understand what I'm talking about) I'm going to give just a few of my opinions on it because I'm a nerd, and it sounds like fun.
First off, the symbol is basically a triangle with a circle inside that seems to be split in half by a line from the top point of the triangle that falls down to bisect the base of the triangle. I have no interpretations for this line. What does it mean? Is it the line between good and evil? Although good and evil are complete opposites, does this line reflect the fact that they will always coincide and therefore, MUST in order to coexist? Then we look at the circle and the three points of the triangle. I am reminded of the show Alias and the symbol of Rambaldi that Irina (Sydney's mother, if you don't watch the show...which you SHOULD because it's amazing) relates to her and her life. The symbol of Rambaldi looks like this, basically: <0>. Now, describing this symbol, she refers to the two arrows/triangles as representations of her two daughters, Sydney and Nadia. Then she says that the circle represents the power with which they will do great battle over. Now, if we relate this theory SOMEWHAT to the symbol found on the Harry Potter cover, I am saying that perhaps the circle is the force/power with which the three points of the triangle will fight/defeat. I am totally assuming here when I name the three points Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Harry being the top of the triangle, and Ron and Hermione being the feet. It seems to me that the line down the middle from the top point (Harry) could also symbolize the fact that he is the only one who can really 'crack'/kill the circle (Lord Voldemort). However, I am then thinking that PERHAPS the circle represents power itself and PERHAPS Voldemort, Harry, and Neville are the three points that end up fighting for it. I'm not saying that Harry and Neville fight against each other. I'm simply saying that these 3 characters are becoming the most important, it seems, in the fight to the end. But then again, I do enjoy the idea of the points being referred to as Harry, Hermione, and Ron, because through the years, these three have become the representation of the perfect team. Ron and Hermione have always been the backbone and the force that holds up Harry (i.e. the 'feet' of the triangle that support the top point). Especially when we leave the 6th book, Hermione and Ron vow to be right next to Harry in his decision to either stay or leave Hogwarts to go find and fight Voldemort. I do believe that it will be the strength from these two that will get Harry to the finish line and probably save him. As we know, his love and emotions for others is, yes, his weakness, but it is, in fact, his strength and possibly, the only thing that will be able to save him in the end.
Anyways, this is my theory on the symbol and I do enjoy theorizing about stuff like this!!! Also, I really like this symbol. I'm wondering how I can relate it to something in my life because I would LOVE to get this as my next tattoo. Perhaps I shall be back to discuss the way this symbol is related to MY life and the power within me...who knows!!
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Elephantine Depression
Elephantine Depression
I have an ill-tempered soul, tattered
With broken pieces of what I thought I was.
No longer can I rub the dirt off my shoulders,
Because that dirt has become nothing more
Than a dreary grave of the many monkeys
That relocate from my back,
After being raped and replaced by new demons.
My tongue is swollen with the foul obscenities
I yell at night while I prepare my symphony
For its midnight debut titled ‘My Perfect Insomnia’.
The fangs from my gums grow stronger,
Poking holes through my lips
And dangling my blood all over my sheet music.
How can such sadism and barbarity dwell inside
A redheaded princess from nowhere?
No pride drips from my saccharine, tearless depression.
The key to my boredom is propitiously nothing
But a small glass of crunchable ice and a bag of bandages.
The blade will come later
When I’m just too close to the end.
At that point, I start to tease myself with death.
What would the Mirror of Erised show
Should I look with my putrid eyes through its?
Me with a mere scratch on my left arm?
Or perhaps, the mirror would show
A constant stream of red,
Symbolizing the only feat I managed
To finally accomplish in life:
The untimely yet necessary death of it.
I have an ill-tempered soul, tattered
With broken pieces of what I thought I was.
No longer can I rub the dirt off my shoulders,
Because that dirt has become nothing more
Than a dreary grave of the many monkeys
That relocate from my back,
After being raped and replaced by new demons.
My tongue is swollen with the foul obscenities
I yell at night while I prepare my symphony
For its midnight debut titled ‘My Perfect Insomnia’.
The fangs from my gums grow stronger,
Poking holes through my lips
And dangling my blood all over my sheet music.
How can such sadism and barbarity dwell inside
A redheaded princess from nowhere?
No pride drips from my saccharine, tearless depression.
The key to my boredom is propitiously nothing
But a small glass of crunchable ice and a bag of bandages.
The blade will come later
When I’m just too close to the end.
At that point, I start to tease myself with death.
What would the Mirror of Erised show
Should I look with my putrid eyes through its?
Me with a mere scratch on my left arm?
Or perhaps, the mirror would show
A constant stream of red,
Symbolizing the only feat I managed
To finally accomplish in life:
The untimely yet necessary death of it.
Dressing Up Exotic
Dressing Up Exotic
Awkwardly striking a pose in front of the mirror,
My stretch marks pave the way
To my drug induced suicide.
The record skips through “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”
While I dress to impress
In oversized sweatpants and a ribbed tank-top
That does nothing to conceal my sharp nipples
Due to my snow blowing air conditioner.
I tie my golden red lollies up high
On the top of my head and grow 4 inches.
As my lopsided nose slices my face into jigsaw pieces,
I scrape the dried mucous spots
Off my lens and steady them on the jagged bridge
Of my flared nostrils.
Then I cry.
I weep silently,
Catching the salt water in my deep pores.
The dirt under my cracked nails
Mixes with the tears
While I scratch them off my face.
I’m not a pretty girl.
My beauty surpasses all that is normal
And I become nothing short of exotic.
Unfortunately,
The only one who sees that
Is the sad, pathetic bitch in the mirror
With cold tits and a snotty whine.
Awkwardly striking a pose in front of the mirror,
My stretch marks pave the way
To my drug induced suicide.
The record skips through “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”
While I dress to impress
In oversized sweatpants and a ribbed tank-top
That does nothing to conceal my sharp nipples
Due to my snow blowing air conditioner.
I tie my golden red lollies up high
On the top of my head and grow 4 inches.
As my lopsided nose slices my face into jigsaw pieces,
I scrape the dried mucous spots
Off my lens and steady them on the jagged bridge
Of my flared nostrils.
Then I cry.
I weep silently,
Catching the salt water in my deep pores.
The dirt under my cracked nails
Mixes with the tears
While I scratch them off my face.
I’m not a pretty girl.
My beauty surpasses all that is normal
And I become nothing short of exotic.
Unfortunately,
The only one who sees that
Is the sad, pathetic bitch in the mirror
With cold tits and a snotty whine.
Chocolate Covered Cherries
Chocolate Covered Cherries
So I spread apart my skin,
Yellow like the peal of a banana,
And let him devour me.
Because dark against black blinds me,
I cannot see where his hands reach.
Feeling their softness brush over my gooseflesh,
I exhale.
I feel like a kid again,
Embraced in love after a fall
Resulting in scraped knees and
A Waterfall of swift tears.
The smooth, sugary rush of dark chocolate
Drifts over me and I smell nothing but candy.
His chocolate covered cherries
Leave tender kisses all over my
Vanilla wrapped soul.
I suddenly remember bobbing for apples
And dipping pretzels.
Our sweets intertwine like candy canes
And the sweat and oil bind us together.
The smell of toffee tickles my spine
And floats above the trees.
We continue to mix and as one, we hear
A Spanish beat in the background
And begin to see sugar plums bursting
Like fireworks in the sky.
Reaching that moment, we melt into one another
And become a single malt…
His creamy caramel has topped my brittle heart,
And together we become the most beautiful candy bar
In existence.
So I spread apart my skin,
Yellow like the peal of a banana,
And let him devour me.
Because dark against black blinds me,
I cannot see where his hands reach.
Feeling their softness brush over my gooseflesh,
I exhale.
I feel like a kid again,
Embraced in love after a fall
Resulting in scraped knees and
A Waterfall of swift tears.
The smooth, sugary rush of dark chocolate
Drifts over me and I smell nothing but candy.
His chocolate covered cherries
Leave tender kisses all over my
Vanilla wrapped soul.
I suddenly remember bobbing for apples
And dipping pretzels.
Our sweets intertwine like candy canes
And the sweat and oil bind us together.
The smell of toffee tickles my spine
And floats above the trees.
We continue to mix and as one, we hear
A Spanish beat in the background
And begin to see sugar plums bursting
Like fireworks in the sky.
Reaching that moment, we melt into one another
And become a single malt…
His creamy caramel has topped my brittle heart,
And together we become the most beautiful candy bar
In existence.
Amen
Amen
I took my life
In one sweet slice
To forget the foulness
Of my own heart.
The purity of my thoughts
Were not pure enough
To save.
If only she was to blame.
Amen.
A silent string of breath
Did creep from my wrists
In my heart’s attempt
For one last vision of beauty.
But the dirty shower curtains
Could not provide solace
For a bleeding soul.
Amen.
Forgive me,
Someone.
If there is a heaven,
Send me postcards.
If there is a hell,
Send them there,
For I will but forever
Reign with my disgusting
Body, heart, mind, and soul
In such a place.
Amen.
The only thing I asked for
Was to be happy.
The only thing I got
Was the icy cut of sorrow.
In my eyes,
I could do all wrong.
The only beauty
Was that of my own tears
Washing away the blood
That had dripped down my hands
And crusted over my fingertips.
If I’m to blame,
I’ll take it.
Amen.
I took my life
In one sweet slice
To forget the foulness
Of my own heart.
The purity of my thoughts
Were not pure enough
To save.
If only she was to blame.
Amen.
A silent string of breath
Did creep from my wrists
In my heart’s attempt
For one last vision of beauty.
But the dirty shower curtains
Could not provide solace
For a bleeding soul.
Amen.
Forgive me,
Someone.
If there is a heaven,
Send me postcards.
If there is a hell,
Send them there,
For I will but forever
Reign with my disgusting
Body, heart, mind, and soul
In such a place.
Amen.
The only thing I asked for
Was to be happy.
The only thing I got
Was the icy cut of sorrow.
In my eyes,
I could do all wrong.
The only beauty
Was that of my own tears
Washing away the blood
That had dripped down my hands
And crusted over my fingertips.
If I’m to blame,
I’ll take it.
Amen.
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